What a Week!

It is really sad to know on Monday that your week is going to be "One of Those" weeks.  But, well...I already know!  We are all going to be SUPER BUSY!  School has started for all the kiddos.  All of the kiddos have Dr. appointments.   We have to check into (and probably sign up for) Mother's Day Out for Willie.  Sign the girls up for Religion Education, Youth Group and Girl Scouts, not to mention taking them to karate on Monday and Wednesday.  There are several other things that have to get done this week, AND mom has 60+ things that have to get packed and shipped.

I don't know about other moms out there, but my day begins early.  Once Colby gets home from school, and until he goes to bed, there is no guarantee that ANYTHING will get done.  Some days, he is great, and we can get anything we need to get done, DONE.  On the flip side of that, there are some days that the only thing that gets done is dealing with Colby.

Well, I will try to post more this week, but NO GUARANTEES! 

What's Next?

Now that Colby's birthday is over, the next thing is his first day of  Middle School!!!!  I can not believe my baby is starting middle school tomorrow! 

RIP

Have you ever had an experience that could not have happened unless all things lined up JUST perfectly?  Well, we did the other day.  Colby's family was walking out the door to our favorite Saturday lunch spot (Chick-Fil-A).  When Colby opened the door, in runs a chipmunk and the cat.  Mom and both girls were screaming.  The girls jumped on the chairs.  Dad yelled to stop being such girls (oxymoron much???).  Colby sits outside saying, "Get out of my house chipmunk"!  The chipmunk ran into the office, and Mom shoved a bunch of towels under the door so that the chipmunk can not get out.  We decided that it was best to just go on to Chick-Fil-A.  After we got home, Dad started looking all over the office for said Chipmunk.  He found him a few times, but Chippy managed to get away. 

Fast Forward to Tuesday:
Mom says to Dad, "Babe, I think Chippy must have died.  It stinks in here."
Dad: "I don't smell anything."
Hailey: "I do, it stinks!  It is not just Mom's pregnant nose."

Well Dad found poor dead Chippy! 

What Do You Have???

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.

- Hindu Proverb

 

 

This is the quote that came in my "Healthy Reflections" this morning, and I fell in love with it instantly.  

 

I hope you all like it as much as I do!

For Those Born into Colby's Family

To those born into the gaze of loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those welcomed by tender voices, life is peaceful. To those embraced with gentle hands, life is secure. To those born into a world of compassion, life is good beyond all measure.
- Anonymous



To Colby and Siblings, I hope that you have been born into a world of ALL OF THE ABOVE!  

Love, 
Mom 

Communication

Most Autism specialist will tell you that "Behavior is Communication!"  And it is.  We, as parents, want our children to communicate with words, signs, or something we can understand.  Now, as I add more children into the mix, I am realizing that all children use behavior as a communication tool, not just special needs children.

I blogged the other day about "Really Listening" to your children.  So, today I am going to blog about your children communicating with you.

I will admit, and tell you, that we are all guilty of flying off the handle. So, when an inappropriate behavior occurs, please take some time to think about why it is occurring.

Example 1: Colby used to put on the clothes that I set out for him but would quickly change into something he preferred.  After a few times of getting very frustrated with that, I realized that Colby did not like the feel of the clothes I was trying to make him wear. 


Example 2: When Colby was much younger, he would scream any and every time we went into a store such as Walmart.  Very early one morning, I was in there by myself.  I noticed this light, but annoying buzzing sound.  I started to cry (good thing there was barely anyone in the store).  I thought about all the times I yelled at Colby out of annoyance because I could not get my shopping done.   It hit me like a ton of bricks---Colby can not take that sound.  It, literally, drove him crazy.   Now, most of the time, Colby does just fine in the store.

Please, don't be like me and have an epiphany in the middle of Walmart.  I hope you all have a great day!

Wise Use of Time

Be wise in the use of time.  

The Question in life is not how much time do we have.

The question is what shall we do with it.

Anna Robertson Brown

(THIS IS A COOL CLOCK!)

Photo Credit: Fotolia

Here in the World of Colby's Family, We use time a little differently than "NORMAL" families!

1) We have been spending a great deal of our time picking battles that need to be picked, but many people would not pick them.  We do this, because in time, we want Colby to be able to live without us!

  

2) We make great use of a timer here in Colby's Family.  We use a timer for making Colby wait to get his preferred task, drink, food, etc.  We also set a timer to let him know how much time he has left on his preferred task before moving on to a non-preferred task.  We set a timer to let him know that he only has so much time left to watch the Family Room TV before it is someone else's turn.

Now that it is summer vacation, we are working harder on those battles that need to be picked, and our use of a timer has gone up drastically...All in A Day in the Life as Colby's Family!

Sunday--- A Day of Reflection

"I believe that I shall see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living."

From my daily devotion

 

 

 

Believing is the key to many things. 

Know that you can do anything with The Divine with you!!!  

 

 

This has been a long road for us, but we are finally getting there.  We are maintaining that WE CAN DO IT with Colby.  We WILL get him to where he needs to be.  We see good things where we believe we will see them, but in return, we see only bad things when we believe that we will see them. 

 

Have a good Sunday.  I hope that you reflect on what YOU need to think positive about.   

Picking Your Battles

As parents, we all know that we have to pick the battles that are 1) worth the fight and 2) we are willing to fight.  As parents of a child with Autsim, this is even more true.

As we are trying to get Colby's behavior where it needs to be, we are picking a lot more battles.  We are also learning that we have to follow through.  We have to see the fight through to the end.  We have to stand our ground.  If we don't do these things, then Colby will think that next time all he has to do is push us a little harder, and we will give in.  Or, he will think that it is OK to use the bad behavior that we are trying to rectify.

And trust me, sometimes this is what we are dealing with!!! 

Image Credit : Maniac World

Consistency

 Consistent means: showing consistency; not self-contradictory

Consistency is a big word around Colby's Family.  It is an especially big word for Mom and Dad.  It is hard to be consistent.  I know that it is hard not to just throw your hands up and say, "WHATEVER!"  I, also, know that with summer coming on, consistency is going to be even harder!

We have made the decision that even though school will be out, we need to stay consistent with bed times, bath times, schedules, and every other rule.  We do not want Colby to regress during the summer.  Actually, I am hoping that this summer will be one of progress for Colby's family.

SO HERE IS TO SOME MAJOR

"Not All Superheroes Wear Capes"

That is right; we don't all wear capes.  I don't think of myself as a Super Hero.  I am just MOM.  I am a mom who loves her children.  I am a "Work From Home" mom.  I am a "Love to Cook" kind of mom.  I am a "Break Up Fights" kind of mom.  I am a "Kiss Away Tears and Pain" kind of mom.  I am a home-schooling mom.  I am a "Calm Colby Down" kind of mom.  I am a "Lock Myself in the Bathroom and Cry because I am not sure what else to do" kind of mom.  And I am many more kinds of mom.  I am far from perfect.  I lose my cool sometimes.  I do all that I can possibly do.  And I have to admit, that it hurt my feelings when people who don't live here and can not possibly know what all we do all day, call me lazy.  I challenge anyone to come and do what I do for 1 day!

Patience...

There is this Turkish proverb that I came across today and thought that it is very fitting in the lives that are Colby's Family.

"Patience is the key to paradise"

Now, I know that it is REALLY hard to be patient at times, but I have noticed that when we are not patient with Colby, he acts worse.  When we are patient, talk in a calm voice, even when he is screaming, and we remain calm, Colby does MUCH better.  I know that this is easier said than done.  We, sometimes, lose our cool as well. 

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

And Our Summer is Getting Busier!!!!

Just when I thought we could jam absolutely nothing else into June, we did!!!  Yesterday, we added 2 more appointments to our already busy month that will be called June 2011.

The appointment with Dr. Hollis went quickly.  Let me rephrase that...the time we actually saw Dr. Hollis was quick, but we had to sit in the dreary waiting room for far too long.  Colby did well though considering.  I gave him a dollar and told him that he could get something from the vending machines after we saw the Dr. 

I think Dr. Hollis got annoyed with me because I took Colby off the meds he was on, but seriously, if they don't do anything, there is no need to keep him on a medication.  I am semi-anti-medication.  I am willing to give Colby a medicine that will work, and I willing to give it a month to see if we see any benefits.  After a month with no benefits, I am taking him off.  In my opinion, if a medicine does not work within a month, IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK! 

So, we are now trying a new medication.  I will post more on that some other time.  I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Back to Centerstone

Today, we are going back to see Dr. Hollis at Centerstone.  It is not my most favorite place to go.  And I will be honest, it is the way it looks.  Inside, in the waiting, there is nothing but chairs and a small lego table.  I know they service both adults as well as children, and that may be good for the future, but I wish it were bright and they had more toys or something.   It is just drab and dreary. 

Well, I hope you all have a great day!

Good Days and Bad Ones

Sure, Colby's Family has good as well as bad days, and yesterday was a good one in our book. 

We have started a new rule in our house: 1 hour of TV per night during the week, and they can earn extra minutes.  Let me rephrase that: 1 hour of TV in the living room per weekday night.  Colby can have his TV in his room for more than 1 hour.  Today when Colby's hour was up, we turned the TV off, and we had a small incident, but Colby did recover quickly ( after about 10 minutes), and went on outside to play.  So, this constitutes a good day in Colby's family.  While he did get slightly aggressive with me (MOM), it did not last.  So, yeah it was a good day! 

PS-On a side note, My desk got cleared off so Colby can plug in the "white one"! 

From Bad to Worse...

...That is how our night went.  And it had nothing to do with the keyboard, or at least from our standpoint. 

We had a bad evening.  It started when it was the girls turn to watch their show.  He screamed, threw things, etc, and then Mom and Dad finally turned off the TV and let the girls go to our room to watch their show.  Colby then took a kazoo away from Will, and instead of giving it back he threw it across the room.  So, I (mom) took the kazoo and put it away.  That meant FULL BLOWN MELTDOWN!!!!  Colby is screaming, Dad is screaming, and Mom is about to go into her own meltdown mode, so I decided that I needed to defuse the situation.  By defuse, I mean-Colby has to go to his room and lay in his bed.  It took a while to get him into his PJ's and down the stairs into his room, but we did it.  All was calm for about 10 minutes.  Colby then tried to come get his kazoo, so we went through another round of screaming on Colby's part.  I have to admit that I am proud of Dad, who did not scream or raise his voice at all during the 2nd round.  Back to the night, Dad put the kazoo in a locked closet (where many things Colby can not have go).  The 2nd round was worse than the first-  Screaming, throwing himself on the ground, trying to hit, etc,and it took both Dad and me to get him down the stairs, but we did make him go back to his room.  One thing we are learning is that we cannot give in-WE HAVE TO STICK WITH WHAT WE SAY!  If not, it reinforces that bad behavior.  It lets Colby think that he can do it again. 

Well, GOOD MORNING- today is a new day, and a new day means a new beginning here in Colby's Family.  Hope you all do have a Wonderful and Blessed Day!

A Very Obsessive-Compulsive Sunday

Obsession: the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Compulsion: A strong, usually irresistible, impulse to perform an act.

And just for the record, I do not think that Colby has OCD.  I just think he has some OCD tendencies.

There are days, like today, that he is compelled by a single thought and urge to act on that thought.  Today's "THING" is using a different keyboard for my computer.  He has obsessed about the "white one" (never mind that it is actually silver) all day!  Why does he want to use the other keyboard?  WHO KNOWS!  Not Colby's Family!  He went as far as unplugging  it from the computer it goes to and tried to unplug my keyboard from my computer.  He became  very agitated when we said that he would have to wait until tomorrow to plug in the "White One".   But, if you know me, you know that my desk is a multitude of need-to-finish projects, paper work, school work, work-work, mail I need to look at, books, and probably many things that I just don't want to think about at the moment.  Needless to say, but plugging in a different keyboard is just going to have to wait until I clean off my desk.  That being said, I have already started cleaning so that tomorrow after school, Colby can plug in the "white one".

Well, I guess we will just have to see how the rest of the night goes, but after a small meltdown (small meaning it lasted less than 30 minutes), he seems content to leave the keyboard on the kitchen table and wait until tomorrow.  And hey, at least mom's desk is getting clean!

12 Great Tips

These are some great tips from the Autism Society.  On each "tip" how we, Colby's Family, deal with it will be in RED

 

 

Twelve Tips for Helping People with Autism 

and Their Families Have a Happy Holiday

While many happily anticipate the coming holiday season, families of people on the autism spectrum also understand the special challenges that may occur when schedules are disrupted and routines broken. Our hope is that by following these few helpful tips, families may lessen the stress of the holiday season and make it a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved. The following tips were developed with input from the Autism Society, the Indiana Resource Center for Autism, Easter Seals Crossroads, the Sonya Ansari Center for Autism at Logan and the Indiana Autism Leadership Network..
1. Preparation is crucial for many individuals. At the same time, it is important to determine how much preparation a specific person may need. For example, if your son or daughter has a tendency to become anxious when anticipating an event that is to occur in the future, you may want to adjust how many days in advance you prepare him or her. Preparation can occur in various ways by using a calendar and marking the dates of various holiday events, or by creating a social story that highlights what will happen at a given event.
 Colby's Family find it helpful to talk about the upcoming event with Colby.  We also host many things at our house, so that Colby is in a familiar environment and can go to his "quiet place" any time he likes. 

2. Decorations around the house may be disruptive for some. It may be helpful to revisit pictures from previous holidays that show decorations in the house. If such a photo book does not exist, use this holiday season to create one. For some it may also be helpful to take them shopping with you for holiday decorations so that they are engaged in the process. Or involve them in the process of decorating the house. And once holiday decorations have been put up, you may need to create rules about those that can and cannot be touched. Be direct, specific and consistent.
 Colby loves the decorations.  All of Colby's Family, including Colby, help decorate.  We each get to put up our own stocking. 

3. If a person with autism has difficulty with change, you may want to gradually decorate the house. For example, on the first day, put up the Christmas tree, then on the next day, decorate the tree and so on. And again, engage them as much as possible in this process. It may be helpful to develop a visual schedule or calendar that shows what will be done on each day.
 See above

4. If a person with autism begins to obsess about a particular gift or item they want, it may be helpful to be specific and direct about the number of times they can mention the gift. One suggestion is to give them five chips. They are allowed to exchange one chip for five minutes of talking about the desired gift. Also, if you have no intention of purchasing a specific item, it serves no purpose to tell them that maybe they will get the gift. This will only lead to problems in the future. Always choose to be direct and specific about your intentions.
This is a MAJOR problem with Colby.  I made him tell me EVERYTHING he wanted while I wrote it down, and I posted it on the fridge.  Whenever he tells us what he wants for Christmas, we tell him that we know, and that it is on the refrigerator. 


5. Teach them how to leave a situation and/or how to access support when an event becomes overwhelming. For example, if you are having visitors, have a space set aside for the child as his/her safe/calm space. The individual should be taught ahead of time that they should go to their space when feeling overwhelmed. This self-management tool will serve the individual into adulthood. For those who are not at that level of self-management, develop a signal or cue for them to show when they are getting anxious, and prompt them to use the space. For individuals with more significant challenges, practice using this space in a calm manner at various times prior to your guests' arrival. Take them into the room and engage them in calming activities (e.g., play soft music, rub his/her back, turn down the lights, etc.). Then when you notice the individual becoming anxious, calmly remove him/her from the anxiety-provoking setting immediately and take him/her into the calming environment.
 This is why we host most events in our house. 


6. If you are traveling for the holidays, make sure you have their favorite foods or items available. Having familiar items readily available can help to calm stressful situations. Also, prepare them via social stories or other communication systems for any unexpected delays in travel. If you are flying for the first time, it may be helpful to bring the individual to the airport in advance and help him/her to become accustomed to airports and planes. Use social stories and pictures to rehearse what will happen when boarding and flying.
 We do not travel for the Holidays, but we do travel with Colby quite a bit.  In order to travel with Colby, it takes a lot of prep on our part.  We have to look into EVERY restaurant that we may want to eat, and make sure that they have something Colby will eat.  


7. Know your loved one with autism and how much noise and activity they can tolerate. If you detect that a situation may be becoming overwhelming, help them find a quiet area in which to regroup. And there may be some situations that you simply avoid (e.g., crowded shopping malls the day after Thanksgiving).
Unfortunately, having a child with autism disrupts your life like a typical child would not.  There are things as parents we have had to learn that we can not do. Our children have to come first.  In my instance, I love to entertain, but due to Colby's lack of wanting people around, I just can't and won't do it as often as I would like. 


8. Prepare a photo album in advance of the relatives and other guests who will be visiting during the holidays. Allow the person with autism access to these photos at all times and also go through the photo album with him/her while talking briefly about each family member.
This is not something we do.  Most of the people coming over, Colby already knows. 


9. Practice opening gifts, taking turns and waiting for others, and giving gifts. Role play scenarios with your child in preparation for him/her getting a gift they do not want. Talk through this process to avoid embarrassing moments with family members. You might also choose to practice certain religious rituals. Work with a speech language pathologist to construct pages of vocabulary or topic boards that relate to the holidays and family traditions.
In Colby's family, we only give out one gift at a time, and we all wait until that person has opened their present to give out another. 


10. Prepare family members for strategies to use to minimize anxiety or behavioral incidents, and to enhance participation. Help them to understand if the person with autism prefers to be hugged or not, needs calm discussions or provide other suggestions that will facilitate a smoother holiday season.
We try to prepare people for Colby, but until they see it first hand, they do not get it.  The best thing we have found is to tell people not to take Colby's lack of acknowledgment personally.  


11. If the person with autism is on special diet, make sure there is food available that he/she can eat. And even if they are not on a special diet, be cautious of the amount of sugar consumed. And try to maintain a sleep and meal routine.
Again, this is why we host many things at our house. 


12. Above all, know your loved one with autism. Know how much noise and other sensory input they can take. Know their level of anxiety and the amount of preparation it may take. Know their fears and those things that will make the season more enjoyable for them.
Yes, please do know and understand your loved one with Autism.  Know that behaviors are a way of communicating.  Help them be comfortable with their surroundings.

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

Twas the Night before Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

 

Life as we know it (part one)

Normal Means: "conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural."  

 

Needless to say, we do not "CONFORM" much in this family.  We are not a typical family.  We are abnormal, and not the "common type".  And do you know what?  WE ARE OK WITH THAT!!!  

 

Like other families, we have our good days and our bad ones, but ours go to the extreme.  Our good days are what other families would consider bad ones, and our bad days are REALLY bad!  Our days are long, full and exhausting.  And I LOVE the fact that there are some who think they KNOW all about our life, when in reality, they know nothing!  

 

Well, this is life as we know!