One Day at a Time

I know that this is the AA motto, but it works very well with Colby's Family too.  Here lately though, it is not even one day at a time, it is more like one minute at a time.  We are having lots of ups and downs in behavior right now. 

I have started keeping a behavior log...It is kind of a different behavior log though.  I am logging the unsavory behavior and what seems to start it, but I am also logging good behavior and new things that Colby is doing. 

I have to brag on my Sometimes-Sweet-Never-A-Dull-Moment Boy.  We had an unsavory (BAD) issue and subsequent meltdown last night.  Dad was sitting in his room with him, and Colby got up and said, "I'm gonna tell mom that I'm Sorry."  And he did come up and tell me that he was sorry. 

 image is from here

Needless to say, it really made my heart sing!

A Strong Family

Good family life is never an accident but always an achievement by those who share it.
- James H. Bossard 

 Our family is unique, crazy, multi-cultured, and weird.  Or so we have been told.  You know, that is OK! 

We are a strong family.  We will go to bat for everyone member of this "Strange" family.  Each member of this family brings something special and unique to the plate.  We celebrate accomplishments.  We talk about everything.  We listen to each other.  We help each other out.  We trust each other.   We are passionate and compassionate.  And most importantly, WE LOVE EACH OTHER!!!  

A good and strong family life does not come easy, nor does it come by accident.  It takes work...LOTS of it! 

We may be a bunch of weirdos, and we are OK with that. 

What a Week!

It is really sad to know on Monday that your week is going to be "One of Those" weeks.  But, well...I already know!  We are all going to be SUPER BUSY!  School has started for all the kiddos.  All of the kiddos have Dr. appointments.   We have to check into (and probably sign up for) Mother's Day Out for Willie.  Sign the girls up for Religion Education, Youth Group and Girl Scouts, not to mention taking them to karate on Monday and Wednesday.  There are several other things that have to get done this week, AND mom has 60+ things that have to get packed and shipped.

I don't know about other moms out there, but my day begins early.  Once Colby gets home from school, and until he goes to bed, there is no guarantee that ANYTHING will get done.  Some days, he is great, and we can get anything we need to get done, DONE.  On the flip side of that, there are some days that the only thing that gets done is dealing with Colby.

Well, I will try to post more this week, but NO GUARANTEES! 

What's Next?

Now that Colby's birthday is over, the next thing is his first day of  Middle School!!!!  I can not believe my baby is starting middle school tomorrow! 

Happy Birthday

Wishing our Colby Doodle a Happy 10th Birthday today!  He is one awesome kid!!!  He is one funny little dude, and we love him very much!

Happy Birthday Doodle!

A "Clamulance" is Coming

At least that's what Colby keeps telling me.  He, also, keeps saying, "Don't worry mom, we are taking you to the hospital right away!"  Oh, how I wish that were true.  I agree with Colby.  I am beyond ready for this baby to come!  But I do wish that Colby would not obsess about it!

RIP

Have you ever had an experience that could not have happened unless all things lined up JUST perfectly?  Well, we did the other day.  Colby's family was walking out the door to our favorite Saturday lunch spot (Chick-Fil-A).  When Colby opened the door, in runs a chipmunk and the cat.  Mom and both girls were screaming.  The girls jumped on the chairs.  Dad yelled to stop being such girls (oxymoron much???).  Colby sits outside saying, "Get out of my house chipmunk"!  The chipmunk ran into the office, and Mom shoved a bunch of towels under the door so that the chipmunk can not get out.  We decided that it was best to just go on to Chick-Fil-A.  After we got home, Dad started looking all over the office for said Chipmunk.  He found him a few times, but Chippy managed to get away. 

Fast Forward to Tuesday:
Mom says to Dad, "Babe, I think Chippy must have died.  It stinks in here."
Dad: "I don't smell anything."
Hailey: "I do, it stinks!  It is not just Mom's pregnant nose."

Well Dad found poor dead Chippy! 

Ann Landers Said...

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him no good.

- Ann Landers

 

This is one of the most wonderful things about Autism.  They don't care what you can or can not do for them.  

What Do You Have???

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.

- Hindu Proverb

 

 

This is the quote that came in my "Healthy Reflections" this morning, and I fell in love with it instantly.  

 

I hope you all like it as much as I do!

For Those Born into Colby's Family

To those born into the gaze of loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those welcomed by tender voices, life is peaceful. To those embraced with gentle hands, life is secure. To those born into a world of compassion, life is good beyond all measure.
- Anonymous



To Colby and Siblings, I hope that you have been born into a world of ALL OF THE ABOVE!  

Love, 
Mom 

Communication

Most Autism specialist will tell you that "Behavior is Communication!"  And it is.  We, as parents, want our children to communicate with words, signs, or something we can understand.  Now, as I add more children into the mix, I am realizing that all children use behavior as a communication tool, not just special needs children.

I blogged the other day about "Really Listening" to your children.  So, today I am going to blog about your children communicating with you.

I will admit, and tell you, that we are all guilty of flying off the handle. So, when an inappropriate behavior occurs, please take some time to think about why it is occurring.

Example 1: Colby used to put on the clothes that I set out for him but would quickly change into something he preferred.  After a few times of getting very frustrated with that, I realized that Colby did not like the feel of the clothes I was trying to make him wear. 


Example 2: When Colby was much younger, he would scream any and every time we went into a store such as Walmart.  Very early one morning, I was in there by myself.  I noticed this light, but annoying buzzing sound.  I started to cry (good thing there was barely anyone in the store).  I thought about all the times I yelled at Colby out of annoyance because I could not get my shopping done.   It hit me like a ton of bricks---Colby can not take that sound.  It, literally, drove him crazy.   Now, most of the time, Colby does just fine in the store.

Please, don't be like me and have an epiphany in the middle of Walmart.  I hope you all have a great day!

Wise Use of Time

Be wise in the use of time.  

The Question in life is not how much time do we have.

The question is what shall we do with it.

Anna Robertson Brown

(THIS IS A COOL CLOCK!)

Photo Credit: Fotolia

Here in the World of Colby's Family, We use time a little differently than "NORMAL" families!

1) We have been spending a great deal of our time picking battles that need to be picked, but many people would not pick them.  We do this, because in time, we want Colby to be able to live without us!

  

2) We make great use of a timer here in Colby's Family.  We use a timer for making Colby wait to get his preferred task, drink, food, etc.  We also set a timer to let him know how much time he has left on his preferred task before moving on to a non-preferred task.  We set a timer to let him know that he only has so much time left to watch the Family Room TV before it is someone else's turn.

Now that it is summer vacation, we are working harder on those battles that need to be picked, and our use of a timer has gone up drastically...All in A Day in the Life as Colby's Family!

Sunday--- A Day of Reflection

"I believe that I shall see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living."

From my daily devotion

 

 

 

Believing is the key to many things. 

Know that you can do anything with The Divine with you!!!  

 

 

This has been a long road for us, but we are finally getting there.  We are maintaining that WE CAN DO IT with Colby.  We WILL get him to where he needs to be.  We see good things where we believe we will see them, but in return, we see only bad things when we believe that we will see them. 

 

Have a good Sunday.  I hope that you reflect on what YOU need to think positive about.   

Epictetus Said...

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.

This quote really got me thinking about "listening".  Listening is something good to do, but when it comes to children (special needs or not), it is not always about what is heard.  "Listen" to what is not being said.  "Listen" as you watch the actions of your children.  

When it comes to a child with Autism, and other disabilities, you need to "Listen" to their behavior.  "Listen" to their reactions.  Everything is communication, we need to learn how to LISTEN to them!

Picking Your Battles

As parents, we all know that we have to pick the battles that are 1) worth the fight and 2) we are willing to fight.  As parents of a child with Autsim, this is even more true.

As we are trying to get Colby's behavior where it needs to be, we are picking a lot more battles.  We are also learning that we have to follow through.  We have to see the fight through to the end.  We have to stand our ground.  If we don't do these things, then Colby will think that next time all he has to do is push us a little harder, and we will give in.  Or, he will think that it is OK to use the bad behavior that we are trying to rectify.

And trust me, sometimes this is what we are dealing with!!! 

Image Credit : Maniac World

Consistency

 Consistent means: showing consistency; not self-contradictory

Consistency is a big word around Colby's Family.  It is an especially big word for Mom and Dad.  It is hard to be consistent.  I know that it is hard not to just throw your hands up and say, "WHATEVER!"  I, also, know that with summer coming on, consistency is going to be even harder!

We have made the decision that even though school will be out, we need to stay consistent with bed times, bath times, schedules, and every other rule.  We do not want Colby to regress during the summer.  Actually, I am hoping that this summer will be one of progress for Colby's family.

SO HERE IS TO SOME MAJOR

"Not All Superheroes Wear Capes"

That is right; we don't all wear capes.  I don't think of myself as a Super Hero.  I am just MOM.  I am a mom who loves her children.  I am a "Work From Home" mom.  I am a "Love to Cook" kind of mom.  I am a "Break Up Fights" kind of mom.  I am a "Kiss Away Tears and Pain" kind of mom.  I am a home-schooling mom.  I am a "Calm Colby Down" kind of mom.  I am a "Lock Myself in the Bathroom and Cry because I am not sure what else to do" kind of mom.  And I am many more kinds of mom.  I am far from perfect.  I lose my cool sometimes.  I do all that I can possibly do.  And I have to admit, that it hurt my feelings when people who don't live here and can not possibly know what all we do all day, call me lazy.  I challenge anyone to come and do what I do for 1 day!

Patience...

There is this Turkish proverb that I came across today and thought that it is very fitting in the lives that are Colby's Family.

"Patience is the key to paradise"

Now, I know that it is REALLY hard to be patient at times, but I have noticed that when we are not patient with Colby, he acts worse.  When we are patient, talk in a calm voice, even when he is screaming, and we remain calm, Colby does MUCH better.  I know that this is easier said than done.  We, sometimes, lose our cool as well. 

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

So Far, So Good - And a Note on Bad Behavior

We have had a good weekend...Well, a good weekend the the "Colby's Family Book"!  We had a few minor incidents with Colby, but really, nothing major.  We will see how today (Sunday) goes.

Mom's Note on Behavior:
On Saturdays, if Colby has had a good week, we take him to a fast food place. This week's choice-CHICK-FIL-A!  Now, I am not judging how other parents choose to parent their children, but there was this child (a boy about 4) in Chick-Fil-A throwing a fit for ice cream.  "I WANT ICE CREAM"-He was screaming.  Dad asked me if there was something wrong with the child, and I said, "I don't know, but the parents let him go play on the play ground area while they ate in the dining room."  God above knows that I am not the perfect parent, but fit-throwing is one thing that I do not allow.  Colby (and the others) have thrown fits in public, but we gather up our stuff and leave.  Above all else, they do not get the treat (such as ice cream).

I know that it is sometimes hard to tell your child, especially when they do have a disability like Autism.
I know that it is easier to just give in to the temptation of giving the child his/her way just so they don't scream, cry, throw a fit, lash out, hit, bite, kick, and the list could go on.
I admit that I have given in more times than I should have.  BUT, I have also learned, on this long journey that is being a part of "Colby's Family", that giving in ONLY condones the bad behavior.  It makes the child think that it is OK to act that way.  We (mom and dad) have learned that, even though it may be easier to throw up our hands and say, "Whatever", it is not helping Colby become the person he can become.

And Our Summer is Getting Busier!!!!

Just when I thought we could jam absolutely nothing else into June, we did!!!  Yesterday, we added 2 more appointments to our already busy month that will be called June 2011.

The appointment with Dr. Hollis went quickly.  Let me rephrase that...the time we actually saw Dr. Hollis was quick, but we had to sit in the dreary waiting room for far too long.  Colby did well though considering.  I gave him a dollar and told him that he could get something from the vending machines after we saw the Dr. 

I think Dr. Hollis got annoyed with me because I took Colby off the meds he was on, but seriously, if they don't do anything, there is no need to keep him on a medication.  I am semi-anti-medication.  I am willing to give Colby a medicine that will work, and I willing to give it a month to see if we see any benefits.  After a month with no benefits, I am taking him off.  In my opinion, if a medicine does not work within a month, IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK! 

So, we are now trying a new medication.  I will post more on that some other time.  I hope you all have a wonderful day!