RIP

Have you ever had an experience that could not have happened unless all things lined up JUST perfectly?  Well, we did the other day.  Colby's family was walking out the door to our favorite Saturday lunch spot (Chick-Fil-A).  When Colby opened the door, in runs a chipmunk and the cat.  Mom and both girls were screaming.  The girls jumped on the chairs.  Dad yelled to stop being such girls (oxymoron much???).  Colby sits outside saying, "Get out of my house chipmunk"!  The chipmunk ran into the office, and Mom shoved a bunch of towels under the door so that the chipmunk can not get out.  We decided that it was best to just go on to Chick-Fil-A.  After we got home, Dad started looking all over the office for said Chipmunk.  He found him a few times, but Chippy managed to get away. 

Fast Forward to Tuesday:
Mom says to Dad, "Babe, I think Chippy must have died.  It stinks in here."
Dad: "I don't smell anything."
Hailey: "I do, it stinks!  It is not just Mom's pregnant nose."

Well Dad found poor dead Chippy! 

Ann Landers Said...

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him no good.

- Ann Landers

 

This is one of the most wonderful things about Autism.  They don't care what you can or can not do for them.  

What Do You Have???

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.

- Hindu Proverb

 

 

This is the quote that came in my "Healthy Reflections" this morning, and I fell in love with it instantly.  

 

I hope you all like it as much as I do!

Our Doodle Boy is HOME!!!!

It is hard for me to describe the emotional roller coaster that Meliah and I have been on for the last couple of days.  If you don't have a child with autism, you probably won't understand.  Nonetheless, let me share with you my experiences as Colby's dad.

After we got home from my brother's wedding, we learned that Colby had difficulties on Sunday before we arrived.  He was agitated, angry and acting out.  It looked to us like he was not happy with what was going on at home...and to an extent, I don't blame him.  I am not going to place blame on anyone in this article...I am not happy with certain people for what transpired with Colby, but this isn't the time nor the place to air our dirty laundry if you will.

On the previous Sunday, Colby didn't have a terrible day, but it wasn't a good day.  Mel and I had hoped that once home, Colby would be better.  Monday and Tuesday his mood changed significantly and it led to some VERY difficult times, interactions and decisions.  Meliah and I both reached our breaking point with Colby and, reluctantly, we took him to VUMC for treatment. It broke our hearts, but Colby was asked to stay for observation and evaluation for the next 5 days.  It is harder than anyone knows to watch your child go through this...to leave and not have him come home with you. It was not emotionally easy for either of us, and things just weren't the same with our Colby gone.  That having been said, Meliah and I realized that we had reached our breaking points as well...with each other and with Colby.  For our sanity and our safety, leaving Cole at VUMC was the best choice...the hardest choice, but the best one.

Let me be honest, I was dreading celebrating Father's Day because one of my sons was not here with me...but, one phone call changed my mood immediately. Colby made us so proud and so happy this past week.  While at Vandy, Colby actually called Mel and I for the first time ever.  This was a HUGE step.  But, to make things even better, Colby actually made small conversation with me on the phone!  This has never happened.  It was a BIG deal and I was so proud.  Hearing him like this made me realize how far he had come in just a few days...and how proud we are of our boy.  Although we were ready to have our Doodle home, it made my heart happier knowing that, at least for the moment, Colby was able to talk normally to daddy.

Such a roller coaster of emotions,some not great, but others wonderful! We brought Colby back home today and I am looking forward to seeing how things go for our family.  I am optimistic :-)

For Those Born into Colby's Family

To those born into the gaze of loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those welcomed by tender voices, life is peaceful. To those embraced with gentle hands, life is secure. To those born into a world of compassion, life is good beyond all measure.
- Anonymous



To Colby and Siblings, I hope that you have been born into a world of ALL OF THE ABOVE!  

Love, 
Mom 

Communication

Most Autism specialist will tell you that "Behavior is Communication!"  And it is.  We, as parents, want our children to communicate with words, signs, or something we can understand.  Now, as I add more children into the mix, I am realizing that all children use behavior as a communication tool, not just special needs children.

I blogged the other day about "Really Listening" to your children.  So, today I am going to blog about your children communicating with you.

I will admit, and tell you, that we are all guilty of flying off the handle. So, when an inappropriate behavior occurs, please take some time to think about why it is occurring.

Example 1: Colby used to put on the clothes that I set out for him but would quickly change into something he preferred.  After a few times of getting very frustrated with that, I realized that Colby did not like the feel of the clothes I was trying to make him wear. 


Example 2: When Colby was much younger, he would scream any and every time we went into a store such as Walmart.  Very early one morning, I was in there by myself.  I noticed this light, but annoying buzzing sound.  I started to cry (good thing there was barely anyone in the store).  I thought about all the times I yelled at Colby out of annoyance because I could not get my shopping done.   It hit me like a ton of bricks---Colby can not take that sound.  It, literally, drove him crazy.   Now, most of the time, Colby does just fine in the store.

Please, don't be like me and have an epiphany in the middle of Walmart.  I hope you all have a great day!

Wise Use of Time

Be wise in the use of time.  

The Question in life is not how much time do we have.

The question is what shall we do with it.

Anna Robertson Brown

(THIS IS A COOL CLOCK!)

Photo Credit: Fotolia

Here in the World of Colby's Family, We use time a little differently than "NORMAL" families!

1) We have been spending a great deal of our time picking battles that need to be picked, but many people would not pick them.  We do this, because in time, we want Colby to be able to live without us!

  

2) We make great use of a timer here in Colby's Family.  We use a timer for making Colby wait to get his preferred task, drink, food, etc.  We also set a timer to let him know how much time he has left on his preferred task before moving on to a non-preferred task.  We set a timer to let him know that he only has so much time left to watch the Family Room TV before it is someone else's turn.

Now that it is summer vacation, we are working harder on those battles that need to be picked, and our use of a timer has gone up drastically...All in A Day in the Life as Colby's Family!

Sunday--- A Day of Reflection

"I believe that I shall see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living."

From my daily devotion

 

 

 

Believing is the key to many things. 

Know that you can do anything with The Divine with you!!!  

 

 

This has been a long road for us, but we are finally getting there.  We are maintaining that WE CAN DO IT with Colby.  We WILL get him to where he needs to be.  We see good things where we believe we will see them, but in return, we see only bad things when we believe that we will see them. 

 

Have a good Sunday.  I hope that you reflect on what YOU need to think positive about.   

Epictetus Said...

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.

This quote really got me thinking about "listening".  Listening is something good to do, but when it comes to children (special needs or not), it is not always about what is heard.  "Listen" to what is not being said.  "Listen" as you watch the actions of your children.  

When it comes to a child with Autism, and other disabilities, you need to "Listen" to their behavior.  "Listen" to their reactions.  Everything is communication, we need to learn how to LISTEN to them!

Picking Your Battles

As parents, we all know that we have to pick the battles that are 1) worth the fight and 2) we are willing to fight.  As parents of a child with Autsim, this is even more true.

As we are trying to get Colby's behavior where it needs to be, we are picking a lot more battles.  We are also learning that we have to follow through.  We have to see the fight through to the end.  We have to stand our ground.  If we don't do these things, then Colby will think that next time all he has to do is push us a little harder, and we will give in.  Or, he will think that it is OK to use the bad behavior that we are trying to rectify.

And trust me, sometimes this is what we are dealing with!!! 

Image Credit : Maniac World